I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
