guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
