What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
