I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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