wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Boobs are out for the taking
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
