is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
