Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
