All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
