he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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