i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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