At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
