I hate all girls vehemently.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
