The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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