Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
