yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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