Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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