i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
