so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
