Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
