y did u give ur computer a hand job?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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