i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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