Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
