I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
