Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
