omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
