WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
