He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize