Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
