Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
