Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
