i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
