OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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