never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
