He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
