You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
