You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
