I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
