I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize