I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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