her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
