there's paper in my vomit.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
