Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
