I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
