Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Enjoy the penises
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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