Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sorry about my life...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
