do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
