Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
