farters have to be the big spoon...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to sanitize my soul.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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