Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
