It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
