PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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