Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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