i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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