My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
