Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
