just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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