if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
