google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
