I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
