I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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