i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
