waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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