Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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