i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
