She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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