After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
