I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
