What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
