There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I need to calm my uterus...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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