how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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