That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
